What To Do When You Can’t Decide

This is my first blog of 2022, and we’re already a month in!  You’ve had a newsletter and we’ve had workshops and masterclasses and I was wondering how best to serve you with some tools and strategies as Spring gets sprung! 

And it came to me that for many of us, we’re over month into new year’s resolutions.  About 10% of the year is gone by already.  It’s time for the rubber to hit the road.  It’s decision time!

The willingness to make decisions and stick to them separates those who have big dreams from those who achieve big dreams! 

No new path can be forged, no new direction can be taken, until first there is a decision.  We all know that on one level and, on another level, many of us stay stuck in indecision. 

What are some of the results you’d love to experience this year?  Maybe you’d love to lose those pandemic pounds, or find love, or move home or get that promotion?  

You’d love it, you wish you had it, you know you want it but nothing’s happening to support the achievement of it.  If wishing and wanting created results, we’d all be living lives we love!  The missing ingredient a lot of the time is decision. 

We have been raised to project plan our way through life.  Specify the end result, identify the milestones and steps along the way, know how much time it’s going to take, secure the budget and resources required, map it all out. 

None of that works with vision achievement! 

Yes, we have to know what it is we want to achieve, that is absolutely the starting point of all successful achievement AND we have to put the how on hold.  We can’t know all the steps at the outset.  If we did, we’d have it done already.

So your number one tool to being decisive in the context of your Vision is your willingness to decide for it in the absence of knowing all the details.  And the tool for helping you with that is to use this question, every time – Would I love that?  If the answer is yes, commit!  If it isn’t, I encourage you to go back to the drawing board to make sure that what you say you want is actually what you really want.

Another tool for working with this is to imagine at some distant time, way out in the future, you are on your death bed looking back at this moment of decision.  Would you be ok with it, if you decided not to do it? 

If yes, then ok!  Decision made, don’t do it!  This is not the thing to focus your energy and attention upon.  But if you know you’d regret it, then lean in, make the decision to go for it.  The number one regret of the dying is the things they didn’t do.  This is a great way to know what to decide for.

And finally, I want to offer you one last way to lean into your decision making.  Often we find ourselves at a fork in the road.  Do I leave this job, this relationship or do I stay?  Do I change my attitude, my behaviours, my habits – who’s for the gym tonight? Or do I tolerate where I’m at and stay the same – netflix anyone? 

Here’s what to do – imagine you go down the route of option A – you leave that job or relationship for example and you see yourself three years down the road and it all worked out.  You are living your best life, delighted with your decision.  Notice how it feels. 

Then imagine you went down the route of Option B – you decided to stay in that job or relationship.  You see yourself three years down the road and it all worked out.  You are living your best life, delighted with your decision.  Notice how it feels.

In both scenarios it all worked out and you’re loving it!  But they will feel different.  One will feel more expansive and alive-making than the other.  That’s the one you want to decide for!

So you have a vision for your best life in 2022.  You have plans and results you want to be celebrating on 31 December 2022.  We are already one month into those plans and you are either on your way towards those results or not.  Only you can know that.

If you’re making good progress celebrate it!  What gets celebrated gets repeated.  Great job, keep going! 

If you’re not making progress you’re proud of (and remember here we’re aiming for progress, not perfection!) you get to make some decisions!  Use the exercises here to discern what you’d really love and give yourself the gift of decision.  If you know you’d love that outcome, go for it!

If you’d love to get clear on your vision and get support for making great decisions in support of it, book a complimentary strategy session here to build clarity and momentum and decide for your next steps.

And if you’re on your way and want to maintain your momentum, sign up here for 6 Strategies to Fuel your Focus and Stay on Track (Free Masterclass on 9 & 10 February @7-8pm live on zoom)