We are just back from a wonderful Vision Workshop this past weekend. One of the things that really resonated with people was me saying that we are not here in this lifetime to simply build the muscle for tolerating things we don’t like.
How many times have you heard, “You just have to tough it out” or “Learn to suck it up”? Society often encourages us to grit our teeth and bear the discomfort, as if the measure of our strength lies in how much we can tolerate. But what if our purpose isn’t to endure the things we don’t like but to grow into the best versions of ourselves and to do that joyfully?
There is a difference between resilience and mere endurance. Resilience is about bouncing back, about growing stronger, wiser, and more capable with each challenge. It is not about building a higher tolerance for things that drain us. As Eckhart Tolle reminds us:
Sometimes that experience comes in the form of opportunities. But many times it comes in the form of obstacles, setbacks and challenges. All of it is in service of our growth, the evolution of our consciousness. The challenges, no less than the opportunities in our lives, are “the curriculum of our evolution” as my great mentor Mary Morrissey says. We’re supposed to evolve, grow, take the lessons and move on.
Instead, what often happens when we find ourselves in situations or environments that are draining or uninspiring, we slip into survival mode. We tell ourselves, “This is just the way life is.” We convince ourselves that we should just ‘put up and shut up’.
😔 Even worse, we talk ourselves out of even wanting better, telling ourselves that we don’t deserve it or are not worthy of it. We tell ourselves that others can have it but not us.
None of that could be further from the truth. We are meant to evolve, to continually grow and elevate our experience of life. And the path to becoming the best version of ourselves includes setbacks and challenges. Growth requires effort and sometimes stepping into discomfort, but that discomfort should lead us to something better—not leave us stuck in a cycle of dissatisfaction.
This is where the power of having a vision for what you would love is really so powerful. Consider the words of Rumi:
In the language of my Vision Workshop, the name we have for that ‘strange pull of what you really love’ is a longing, a desire for something that you know you would love. That is how Spirit, God, the Universe is guiding you towards what serves you. And your discontents, they show up as Spirit’s, God’s, the Universe’s way of saying to you, ‘not this way, this is not for you, choose something better.’
Growth doesn’t have to be a gruelling process. In fact, the most transformative growth often happens when we’re engaged in activities and experiences that we genuinely enjoy. This doesn’t mean that every moment is easy, but it does mean that the journey is one of discovery, alignment, and fulfillment.
When we focus on becoming the best version of ourselves – in our health, our relationships, our vocation, our time and money freedom – the process itself becomes rewarding. We see challenges less as burdens and more as opportunities. We cultivate habits, relationships, and mindsets that nourish us. We take action that is evidence of the decisions we have made to focus on growth.
When you find yourself in a situation that feels like it’s just about enduring, ask yourself: Am I growing? Am I aligning with my best self?
If the answer is no, it is most likely time to reassess. Ask yourself what would be the opposite of this? If the discontent was dissolved, what would you be doing, having, creating differently? If you answered your longings, what would life look like?
As the Buddha said:
✨ You and I are not here just to survive, but to give ourselves fully to the experiences that allow us to thrive and grow. By shifting your mindset from surviving to thriving, you allow yourself to pursue what lights you up. You move beyond tolerance and step into a life where you can embrace your passions, trust your abilities, and grow into the best version of yourself with joy.
You deserve more than a life of tolerance. You deserve to thrive. Let me finish as I started, you are not here to build the muscle to tolerate things you don’t like. Instead, your task is to become the person you are truly meant to be—with all the joy, passion, and purpose that comes with it.
And remember, as you grow into the best version of yourself, you not only elevate your own life but you also inspire others to do the same.
If you were disappointed to miss the Vision Workshop and would love some support to thrive, then I invite you to reach out and book a Complimentary Strategy Session here. We’ll spend an hour together on zoom and build your vision for your best life and identify the steps to start to live into it now. It really is your time to thrive and I’d love to support you in allowing it to happen.
Cover Photo by Gabin Vallet on Unsplash