You're Not Broken
One of the most powerful experiences was working in a small group and hearing my colleague and new friend say how much she was loving the experience at the retreat. She said that she was realising the power of being with a group of people focused on growth and creating results they loved. Her exact words were, “I’m not broken and I don’t need to be fixed, and neither does anyone else here”. She shared how this was such a different experience to other workshops and retreats she had attended. And it made me really realise the power in the approach I work with as a transformational coach.
Yes, I work with people just like you who want to make changes. But the difference is that we approach making those changes from the point of view that you are already perfect, that you have within you all you need to create new results you love. I work with clients to evoke from within both the results you’d love and how to achieve them. And then I support you in developing the mindset and strategy to get you there.
Negative Bias
So maybe you’re reading this and thinking, ‘I’m not perfect’? And in that you are human! The human side of our nature has a negativity bias and is always looking for the problems, both within and without. But, the Truth is that we are spiritual beings having a human experience. And Spirit in you and me knows that we are perfect and born deserving of all that we would love to create and experience in this life time.
Perhaps you have a lot going on in your life that you are unhappy with? I understand that. I too have things in my life that are unpreferred and about which I have goals and dreams and ambitions to change. And here’s the deal: those longings and discontents, as I refer to them, are Life calling you to something better. It is Life saying, ‘not this way’, ‘this is not for you’, ‘choose better’.
So yes, there are things you want to change, perhaps about yourself and almost certainly relating to some of the conditions and circumstances in your life. But know this, none of that makes you underserving, unworthy, or imperfect in any way. As Steve Maraboli put it, “you are perfectly imperfect and powerful beyond measure”. Imagine that! You are perfectly imperfect and powerful beyond measure.
Hear that! It is our imperfections that make us perfectly ourselves, unique and special. Some cultures and traditions really get this! The Japanese, for example, have a wonderful term called wabi-sabi. An ancient form of art stems from wabi-sabi, whereby you mend broken objects with gold fillings, giving them “golden scars.” It’s known as Kintsugi. Omar Itani explains how this concept applies to us personally:
“The idea here is simple: There will be many times in your life when you will feel broken. There will be events that will leave you with emotional or physical scars. Do not hide in the shadow of your own sunshine. Do not dim your own light with the darkness of a cloud. Instead, let those scars be redrawn with gold.”
Consider that your failures are there to teach you how not to do things, your mistakes are there to teach you the importance of forgiveness, and your wrinkles are there to remind you of your laughs that caused them.
Start to embrace this concept of Kintsugi—that broken objects are not to be hidden, they are to be displayed with pride—and you’ll slowly begin to realize how you’re dissolving that image of perfection, and replacing it with a new divine concept of beauty: The entirety of you.”
Some native American Indians have a similar concept. In their art and craftwork, they include intentional mistakes and while these have different intentions and meanings according to the tribe and the craft, they all believe the flaws to be important and necessary. Persian Rug makers and Amish Quilt makers also employ this idea of purposeful imperfection in their craft both as an expression of humility and honour (to God). From these traditions we can also see the value of imperfection, as is beautifully summarised by Charly Hill, in her blog on the Importance of Mistakes:
“So instead of automatically feeling bad the next time you make a mistake, think about another choice of perspective. Consider that mistakes are how we learn and improve. They keep ego from getting out of balance and help us see the world as it is. They provide us a means to acknowledge our humanness and to honour our higher power. Mistakes help us accept ourselves and others for who we really are, and allow us to love anyway.”
So know that the imperfections are normal and also part of your uniqueness. They do not make you less than or underserving or unworthy. You and I are a work in progress. As Wallace Wattles puts it: “You must always see yourself as a great advancing soul”.
And knowing that, you can continue to advance. You can harness your longings and discontents, knowing that they don’t mean that there is anything wrong with you and that instead they are calling you and signalling the way to you becoming your next best version of yourself. And the quickest and fastest ways for you to become that, are to love yourself, to be your own best friend and champion and to put a structure of support and accountability around you to keep you on track.
If you would love some assistance with this, be sure and reach out. You can book a complimentary strategy session here which will give us an hour together on Zoom. I’ll support you to interpret the signals that life is currently giving you and gain clarity on the new results you’d love to create. And, if you’d like to explore how coaching with me can support you in getting to those results more quickly and easily, we can look at that together too. I know Christmas is looming but don’t let that put you off booking a session now. Do what you can from where you are with what you’ve got! An hour together could be the one thing that will set you up to enter 2023 knowing how to make it your best year ever. Book your complimentary strategy session here today.